BOOK NOTE: THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F*CK BY MARK MANSON

I first read “The Subtle Art...” last year. I'd be lying if I say it's not one of the best books out there when it comes to self-improvement. The author is quite phenomenal. His writing style will punch you straight in the face. He's the kind of guy you need when your life feels like a fucking mess.

He is no one but Mark Manson. The only writer that'll fuck you up (in a good way) and you'll still say to him “Thank you, you're so amazing!”

Oh, lest I forget, this summary isn't meant to substitute reading the book itself. It's more of an appetizer, like pepper soup, to get you drooling for more—well, so that you can actually say “Hey Muhsin, Fuck you! I'm definitely going to stop wasting my time here and dive straight into that book by Mark Ma.... Oh! Please, just get me the fucking book already.”

But before you do that, here are the major points that resonated with me while reading the book:

• Life is a rollercoaster of emotions, positive and negative.

• Not admitting your negative emotions, that is, trying to ignore or run away from it only backfires.

• Happiness comes from solving problems. For example, I've been feeling way ignorant on some certain topics, but ever since I took action to address that, I became fulfilled and happier.

• Life is full of problems. Only hope for better problems, not zero problems.

• The absence of no problem is a problem itself. Why? Well, because our minds are meaning mechanisms. And in a case of no problem, our minds will create a problem.

• Breadth of experience is good, but as you grow older, it's the depth of experience that matters more.

• A healthy relationship is one in which both parties take responsibility for their wrongs without feeling entitled.

• A relationship that either both parties or one of the party feels entitled that a partner needs to take responsibility for his/her misdeeds is actually an unhealthy relationship. (Okay, this looks like the last point, but, come on, the last point needed further clarification).

•Understanding ourselves has a lot to do with understanding our values. To do that, we need to peel the self-awareness onion. The interesting thing is that as we peel each layer, it gets more painful. Why? Well, because truly realizing the main reasons behind our actions can be unsettling sometimes.

•Emotions are like sign posts: they are meant to prompt us to action. 

•Growth is inevitable. Perspectives change overtime. And when it changes, we don't go from being wrong to right. Instead we go from being wrong to slightly wrong, slightly less wrong, and so on in this fashion/pattern.

•Values determine our actions. If you value a certain thing, that thing will come to define you.

• Good values are reality-based, socially constructive, immediate and controllable. For example, humility, charity and curiosity.

• Bad values are superstitious, socially destructive and not immediate and controllable. For example, being liked by everybody and, well, indiscriminate fucking (like most people do).

• As I earlier stated, “we humans are meaning mechanisms”. And whether we like it or not, that is, consciously or unconsciously we are always making meaning out of events.

• We can't change the problems we have. One sure thing we can do is to take responsibility and solve these problems instead of just lying there hopelessly.

Okay, that's all.

The points mentioned above are not the words of the author verbatim. They are points I noted down by trying to recall the book's ideas after I finished reading the entire book. It appears to me that trying to recall these ideas without looking at the book helps me in retaining must of what I've read.

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