#41: THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

What is happiness? 

Happiness is a state of the mind. A state in which a person feels detached from his worries and experiences a sense of pleasure or fulfillment.

When someone is said to be happy, it is then 

expected that that person is excited, joyous and most importantly, feeling good about himself. 

That's happiness. 

However, everyone has a particular thing that evokes such a positive feeling deep inside. It's a subjective experience. Thus, what makes me happy might not necessarily be what makes you happy. 

 

When I tell some people that writing and reading makes me happy, they cringe. Why? Because the terms I use in defining happiness is alien to their nature. And yes, that's perfectly okay.

We are all different. You, like any other person out there, just have to find out what makes you happy. 

But wait a minute.

I've understood that a lot of people have a false understanding of what happiness is.

Most people define happiness on materialistic basis. And while the luxuries of this life will make you happy, you just have to understand that that's merely a superficial form of happiness.

The pursuit of happiness in this manner will end in nothing but a never-ending pursuit of happiness. In fact, the more you chase happiness, the less happy you'll be.¹ And while this sounds crazy, it's pretty much true. 

Assumably, lets rewind back and think of a time you really wanted to have something so badly to the extent you thought that once you get that thing you're going to be happy ever after. 

It could be a relationship, a new phone, a car, an expensive piece of cloth or anything else. 

Now, while you might have felt a sharp rise in your dopamine² level for some days and got all that excited and happy, chances are, after a while that same experience that made you happy did wear out and eventually stoppped making you happy. (Oops! You just got punched in the face.)

Thus, leaving you with no other option than to go and look for another positive experience that'll make you happy again.

In as much as that sounds like a cool thing, it's all stuff and nonsense. In simpler terms, it has no everlasting positive effect. You'll just keep chasing highs after highs that'll grant you no real peace of mind. 

It'll be good if you clear the misconceptions you have about what happiness is. 

True happiness is not about jumping from one bed to another having sex with countless girls/boys you're not married to. 

True happiness isn't about buying every new iPhone that's released in the market. 

True happiness isn't about having a lot of money.

True happiness isn't about being happy all the time. 

True happiness isn't about having no problems—life will even have no purpose without problems.

True happiness isn't about going beyond ethical lines just to make yourself happy. And when asked, you say “It's my life. I do whatever makes me happy.”

If all these is not true happiness, then what exactly is the true definition of happiness? 

By looking into the first definition of happiness above, we can add to it and then define happiness as a state of the mind in which one enjoins that which is good and leaves that which is evil by following the teachings of God. 

True happiness is about finding peace of mind with the little you have instead of unnecessarily being worried about that which you don't have.

The thing is you can only enter this state of happiness if you adhere to the teachings of God. 

In the Holy Qur'an, Allah says:

“Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has Faith, verily, to him will We give a life that is good and pure, and We will bestow on such their reward according to the best of their actions.”³

That's actually how to find everlasting happiness. One that you'll be happy in this world and also in the hereafter.

Therefore, sanctify your heart by doing dhikr (the remembrance of God) and you'll be just fine. For He will grant you the will to be happy with ease. 

Allah says: 

“Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah: for without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction.”⁴

In essence, it's not what happens to us that matters, rather it's what happens in us that matters. That said, happiness comes from within. But before it comes from within, you have to put the love of The Almighty in your heart.

Footnotes 

1. Manson, M. (2016). The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counter-intuitive Approach to Living a Good Life. New York, NY: Harper One. 

2. Pietrangelo, A. (2019). How Does Dopamine Affect the Body? Retrieved from https://www.healthline.com/health/dopamine-effects#drugs-dopamine

3. Sūrah Al-Nahl, 97.

4. Sūrah Ar-Ra'ad, 28.