#37: 3 IDEAS THAT'LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Hello.

If you're reading this, I'm glad to telI you that I just turned twenty-one.

Out of these years, the past three to four have been the most interesting ones. 

I've been able to learn and understand some key ideas which have proven helpful in perusing through the affairs of my life.

Keeping these insights to myself doesn't feel okay. That said, I consider it necessary to share what I've learned. Hope you wouldn't mind?

Did I just hear you shout the word, “YES!”?

I guess I did. 

Without further ado, let's dive straight into these key ideas.

1. WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT OPERATING SYSTEMS

Let's take a look at Apple and Samsung phones. 

Apart from the different hardware these two phones have, another obvious difference is the software. 

The Samsung device uses the android operating system while the iPhone makes use of the iOS.

If you try to install an android operating system into an iPhone, will it work?

Absolutely not.

What if you try to install an iOS into a Samsung phone? 

We all know it's not going to work.

It's not going to work because the two phones have a different build up. Clearly, they are all phones. All meant to basically carry out the same functions, however, using different operating procedures.

As such there's need to understand how each one of the two operate in order to know how to use either of the two respectively.

I know you're wondering where I'm heading with this analogy but just stay calm. 

Meanwhile, here's a cup of tea. Have a sip. Relax.

Are you done? All right, let's move on.

The point I'm trying to paint a colourful picture of is that just as operating systems in phones differ from each other, that's exactly how we humans differ in our thinking from one another.

That's why Mr A can't have the same way of thinking as Mr B.  Yes, A and B are all humans, however, with different operating systems.

Of course, we can't all be thinking in the same manner. We all have a different genetic build up. Added to that, there are many experiences which play a vital role in shaping the way we think.  These experiences differ from person to person.

I believe understanding this concept will go a long way in making you live a better life. 

The chunk of the work is then to understand the operating system the people you interact with have.

Once you understand how a person thinks, what level he is operating from, then you can find effective and efficient ways you can adjust yourself in order to interact with that person.

Just like how you learn to operate an Apple and a Samsung device, that's how you get to learn how to interact with different people. 

Distinct entities require a different approach. 

Internalise this concept very well. I believe it'll help you a lot in relating well with people, and most importantly, living a better life.

2. FREEDOM IS FU*CKED (AND YES, YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT)

When I was in secondary school, my topmost priority was to graduate and find my way into university. 

Whenever I slept, ate or drank, that always crossed my mind. I felt like the whole idea was engraved in my heart with some sort of permanent coating. 

It always echoed as though it was a do or die affair. I thought of it as a liberation of my freedom where I'll be all over everywhere shouting “HEY YOU THEREEEEE. I'M FINALLY FREEEEE!”.

Oh, yes. Finally free from wearing uniforms. Finally free from my parents telling me what to do. Finally free from giving excuses whenever I want to visit that beautiful girl I've been crushing on. Finally free from all a teenager who has never left home to live on his own could ever think of. 

I'm sure these were somewhat your thoughts also. It's normal to think so actually. Normal to have the belief that you're finally going to be free when you get to the promised land.  

It felt really good in my own little imagination. My hopes were high that a wonderful adventure lies ahead. A world of freedom. One that I could do whatever I want and have nothing to worry about. 

But, come on, that was all wishful thinking.

There is no such thing as being free per se. My thoughts of being “free” were nothing but the delusional thoughts of a teenager.

After securing admission and getting into university, I realized the whole freedom thing is fucked (or, simply put, overrated).

Freedom, despite how sweet it sounds, is just another form of responsibility in various proportions. You'd be thinking you're free only to come to the realization that it comes with a price.

Well, yes, it comes with responsibilities. 

Perhaps you think I'm making this up and you want to spank me on my head using a frying pan while shouting aggressively saying "you this freaking liar!” 

Wait first, that's me joking anyway. I'm quite sure you aren't going to do that. Truth is, even though you might be quick to be in a flat-out denial with my submission, I want you to think through it. 

Picture yourself sitting behind a car's steering wheel. In such circumstance, you are free to steer the vehicle in whatever direction you feel like, but then, despite being free to do so, you have to assume responsibility.

You have to be responsible for your safety, the safety of other drivers on the road and also the safety of the people walking on the road.

Why? You may ask.

Well, because despite been free, you still have a responsibility to do the right thing. And yes, you'd do so except if you want to give the I don't give a flying fuck kind of look and dive straight into your grave—of which I know you wouldn't.

Having the right to freedom of speech as a person also comes with responsibilities. The responsibility of sifting your ideas before dishing them out. 

In as much as you are free to say all that you want to say, you can't say all that you want to say. You'd have to avoid saying things that'll incite hate and negativity among people. 

As I said, that's how “freedom” works. It comes with certain responsibilities. 

It could be financial, emotional or any other kind of responsibility depending on the situation you find yourself.

Yes, that's you being free and at the same time being responsible with the freedom you have. Truth is, even with the closest people in our lives, we somewhat have to operate within this level.

The underlying truth remains as it is, the world is an arena of problem sets. One that we'll keep solving and solving until we eventually die. 

As you think of being free from one particular thing, another different thing is ready to hold up your freedom. 

I guess that's life's way of moulding us and making us more responsible. Life's very own way of drilling us hardcore in order to be ready for our struggles. 

However, it's not just the responsibilities, it's how we deal with these responsibilities that matters the most. 

So does absolute freedom really exist?

No. It doesn't. There's no such thing as being completely free from anything. You can only be wholly free when you kick the bucket. And yes, probably end up in heaven. But that's if you even believe there's somewhere like heaven. Nevertheless, in my opinion, heaven is the only place you can find ultimate freedom.   

3. DON'T START WHAT YOU CAN'T SUSTAIN

Are you planning to start a relationship?

Are you interested in buying a Mercedes?

Are you planning to commit yourself to something, say, a person or a project that'll take your time and effort?

Are you...

Well, if that sounds like you, then you need to let what I'm about to tell you sink deep into your brain.

You see, a lot of people are fond of involving themselves in things that in an ideal sense, they shouldn't even be doing. Things that yield a potential to mess them up.

The thing is whatever you're planning to do, look into it well before you commit yourself to it. Don't start what you can't sustain in the long run. 

That relationship that you want to start, don't start it if at all you have no clear intention of sustaining it

That car that you desperately want, if you are not financially capable to maintain it, don't buy it. Cast your emotions aside. Do the right thing. Buy what you can afford to fuel and repair somewhat effortlessly if it breaks down.

Stop following your emotions heedlesssly without thinking through things. 

Yes, you might want the car, the relationship, the mansion and all that. But if it's not something you can keep up with, then it becomes a liability—something that disrupts your inner peace.

When you intend to start something, ask yourself if at all you can sustain, maintain or keep up with that line of action in the long term. 

Sustenance is key!

Living a better and fulfilled life has a lot to do with being practical when it comes to reality.

Just cut your coat according to your cloth. Don't start what you can't finish. And, yes, don't visit this blog again if you aren't going to do that.

Yes, plan your life. Pray hard. Work hard. Live it to the fullest. Internalise these three ideas and, well, don't mess yourself.

See you next time.